Well, it's that time of year again, where love and relationships become the focus of the average mind. So, I figured I'd write a few things regarding relationships and love.
First thing is for you guys out there. I can't tell you how many young men I who seem to be ultra sensitive and expressive about their emotions. News flash, most girls do not like ultra effeminate men. Sorry to break it to you. Girls are emotional reactors, and you have no idea when they may go off. Last thing they need is a bf who is the same way. See what I'm saying? Girls need guys who are stable, strong, and confident. Now, that is not to say that they need arrogant men or douche bags who are emotionally callused, extremes are never good. Balance is of the essence. All I am saying is that too many of you guys wear your hearts on your chest, and that, though immediately attractive to some women, will not yield long lasting relationships. Look around if you need proof.
Second thing for guys, talk less. Girls are not actually interested in your thoughts nearly as much as you think they are. Girls by nature have a lot to say at all times, and generally nothing will make them happier than for you to just listen and be engaged. If you do that, then at some point or another, they will want to talk with you about your stuff. So you will get your chance to say what you want, but its all in good time. Let her talk first, be interested, listen well, and you will grow with her. Now, on that note, i've seen a lot of guys do this, myself included, don't try to force conversations with girls. If a girl is not interested in talking to you, don't push it. Girls get very nervous and uncomfortable if they suspect your intent, and instead of confronting you about it, they will likely just try to ignore you. Take that as a hint and back off. Your lack of aggression will be far more attractive than they whole "talk to me dammit" thing will.
Now, first thing for girls, do not blame guys for your issues. Nothing will cause a fight faster than to blame your bf or any guy friends for not taking care of your insecurities. Guys need a lot of autonomy, and i can speak from experience, nothing on this planet was more irritating than to have a girl bitch at you for 4 hours because you were not making senseless, illogical decisions to cure loneliness. Seriously, we are here to support you and all, dont get me wrong, but you have to pick and choose your moments of most need wisely. Having a total breakdown every week, for example, is gunna get tiring for a guy. Eventually, he is not going to move hell and earth for you. Once this happens, the blaming thing kicks in, and then the boat will sink. So girls, moral of the story, as guys, we know you will become emotional and whatnot, and thats cool, but if we cant be there all the time, dont blame us or hold us on the phone for 4 hours. thanks
Next thing for girls, love is not what you think it is. Drawing hearts is cute and all, dont get me wrong, but real love is not nearly as cute. Girls, by and large, need to lower their expectations on love. Its not a fairy tale, no guy out there is prince charming, and you will not live happily ever after. You might live comfortably, even content, but the butterflies in your stomach will fade a lot faster than you might expect. Then you are left with whatever bozo you chose. Now, words of wisdom here. For one, you need to be pursued, never be the one doing the pursuing. If you girls let yourselves be pursued, look for the right things in a guy. Marrying for love is like entering a mine field while blindfolded. Marry smart, attract guys who have money. Im not saying that you should go out and marry a doctor (they often times are total assholes, fyi my mom has to work with them), but marry a guy with a solid career or capacity to have one. Love is secondary, and actually, as you may find, if you change your perspective on guys and what's important to you, you might find that its easier to "fall in love" with those kinds of people. You will be more like minded, credit goes to that. And lastly, if every worth-while girl out there raises their expectations in men, men will (due to their competitive nature) rise to the challenge and become much more money oriented because they know that how to start pursuing the right women.
Other then that, its a damn toss up. There is no formula for success in this field. In fact, its doing rather terrible. With a soaring divorce-rate, broken families, and multiple marriages, its rather foreboding. But, guys and girls, if you play your cards right, marry smart, change your habits a little bit, you may beat the odds and actually stand a chance at having that future you always wanted.
Happy Valentines day bitchez!
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